meguren0216

I am more of a lurker in SNS and communities like Livejournal. I think that's just my nature or maybe I am too distracted to focus on posting things? I actually had a number of entries I wanted to write about since January 2021 but I never got those done because my brain is a mess. A mess in such a way that I really can't focus. Anyway I just really need to get this off my chest as this has been bothering me since it was announced. 

*bonus Hikaru JCD Uchiwa offshot photo under cut

I know this is pretty late since the concert ended a couple of weeks ago, but I still can’t help but feel elated whenever I think about this concert, mainly because it’s the first HSJ Concert that I have watched. Sure it’s only online and perhaps its not really live-live per se but this was still a once in a lifetime opportunity that I had to grab. I mean, what are the chances that I could go overseas and watch them perform live with the availability and moolah I would need to make it possible. 

Contrary to the other girls in the fandom who probably made concert reports, I won’t be doing that since I don’t know how LOL. So I’ll just share my thoughts and verbalize my love for our 9 soldiers. Sad to say that after the concert, Keito will no longer be part of the group as he would be fulfilling a career as an actor. We wish you all the best Keito. 

It took me a while to decide if I was going to watch the concert or if I was just going to wait for the DVD (and buy that instead so I can watch it over and over), mainly because of financial issues. I am new to the fandom and I still have no idea how these things work , what to buy, where to spend my money on etc. I also spent a significant amount of money on buying previous concert goods and also placed an order for this concert’s goods. 

Last month I invested on a wireless keyboard for my iPad with hopes that I might write more. I used to be a typical writer many years back but RL had me in a slump. To be honest, I seem to have zero interest in writing anything at all. Not sure if its due to my brain cells deteriorating or perhaps I’m simply uninspired. Now, all the writing I get done would be my journal entries. Gotta keep those thoughts documented… Lol. 

Two months in, no prose/poetry has come about. I thought of retyping my earlier works - those from my youth but upon typing them, I would just cringe and cringe like there’s no tomorrow. Mainly because majority of those poems were poorly written - you know the type - those that seem to be lyrical in nature and just lacks a music sheet to turn it to a song. Won’t be surprised since I did sing it in my head while writing it. Apart from it’s sing song nature - they were sappy love poems too. So I shuddered more whenever I would remember who I wrote it for. Lol. Oh halcyon days of my stupid youth - I would very much love to forget you. 

Come to think of it, I had such a simple career in mind when I was a kid - I longed to be an award winning author of sorts, but just like Cherry Pink - I couldn’t seem to get things done. I have this habit of starting stuff - and never seeing it up until fruition. I envy those Wattpad writers because they get things done.

I have always been a big otaku at heart and a big Rumiko Takahashi fan at that so I did not pass up the opportunity to watch her latest creation on YouTube — Yashahime. I live outside Japan so this is the closest I could get to watching it legally. Anyway, as I grew older I noticed I did not have the same patience as I did in listening to the opening theme song. But for this one I made an exception or perhaps I was just too lazy to skip it and boy was I glad I did. The new opening song was awesome! I saw on the opening credits that the title was New Era - quite fitting - I thought to myself - since the main characters were already the children of the original heroes. I have always been sentimental and not really a fan of change. I was hoping that this anime could showcase more of the original characters, but of course we gotta move on and perhaps today’s generation might also benefit from a new story line instead of a rehash of the old one. Obviously I was a bit sad, because for some reason, I would always find  a way to cling on to every last remnant of my childhood LOL. 

I watched the first half of Arashi's Japonism tour the other day and I was simply awestruck. Thank you so much for Arashigoodies for sharing it.Well, just to share how I started liking Arashi, it all started many years back when Gokusen was shown on one of the local channels in our country. I've always been fond of watching anime, but unlike my classmates who had parents or otaku older siblings who were there to buy the anime cds for them. I had to just be content with whatever was being aired on Animax, AXN or other local networks. My parents were not really supportive of my obsession with everything Japanese so whatever otaku merch I wanted, I had to save up for it from my allowance.Anyway when Gokusen started airing in PH, I was just soooooo enamored with Matsujun. I also got charmed by Shun Oguri and Hiroki Narimiya but Matsujun really takes the cake! So I started researching about him. Well... at that time I was a kid with limited internet connection since all we had was broadband in our area. It's actually worse off now. Not even broadband is available. Just prepaid. Ughh hello dial up days. Anyway, when I researched Matsujun, I found out that he was part of a boy band called Arashi. And of course I started researching about Arashi as well and eventually ended up downloading a ton of their music since it wasn't readily available in our country. I would love to purchase the actual CDs, but at that time the music stores didnt sell them and I was too poor! Anyway, I started to enjoy the music. I researched the translation and figured that their music's message were mostly about determination and overcoming adversities and of course the occasional love songs here and there. I was struggling with depression at that time and songs like Kansha Kangeki Ame, Kimi no Tame ni Boku ga Iru and Hero really helped me a lot to get through everyday. Well, those songs were already pretty old when I discovered them, but they were absolutely meaningful. I hope I could tell them how much their songs have helped me during the rough days of my depression as a youth. 

Whenever things got so stressful at uni, I would usually resort to drinking to calm my nerves... which is a very bad habit. But ever since I decided to reacquaint myself with the different johnny's groups — well, only those that I've always liked — Arashi, T&T and recently HSJ — I found myself grabbing a bottle less and less and just get myself lost in Johnny's world instead. Which is very good cause this way, my liver gets to be saved. LOL. 

So I would like to send my heartfelt gratitude to the communities that accepted me and the other kindred souls that added me here  that served as a catalyst to me being a JE fangirl once more. 

I hope that one day I could share my own content too. Everyone here is just simply amazing! 

Due to the current covid pandemic, everyone has been reduced to mostly staying indoors. Actually, now that I think about it, not much has changed with my routine. Prior to covid I've been mostly staying indoors and avoiding people in general, preferring to just talk to them via chat or videocalls, which my friends found a bit offensive. Don't know why. Must be the change in humor or aging perhaps? Not sure. Anyway, that meant my computer usage has doubled. Unfortunately for me, I had to use my main laptop for work because being a probi employee does not warrant me to have a service laptop yet. So there, I didn't mind at first because I had another laptop that I can use for leisure. It's pretty old though. Six years old I think or maybe seven. Not quite sure. Anyway, I left it in my condo during the lockdown and it was just there gathering dust for 3 months. What I brought home was the newer one. Bad idea. I should've brought the older one too, because once GCQ was implemented and I was able to go back to my condo, my laptop stopped working. Well, actually it just turned on once, and then I shut it down, but when I tried opening it again, its just stuck on the black screen of death. Of course I didn't want to resort to reformatting it immediately, so I made use of YouTube tutorials. Unfortunately I was unsuccessful. I eventually resorted to bringing it to the repair shop. Not sure if there was no other way, but the girl insisted in just reformatting it. Well I needed a backup laptop badly since my other one is acting up. I thought it would be fine since majority of my manga, anime and jpop collection was in drive D. I forgot that my pictures and viber images were on drive C. Well... that's the importance of back up. Though I think I have copies of my photos in the cloud, my viber images were another story. I knew they were no longer needed but I just couldn't get myself to deleting them. So long to six years worth of memories. Those memories were quite painful to remember anyway so I guess they just did me a favor. 

So lately, I've been watching Ikemen Desu Ne before going to sleep just because I can't get enough of Hikaru. So my days are divided into work, getting my alcohol or tea fix, watching HSJ videos and watching HSJ jdramas. Perhaps it's the breath of fresh air that I'm getting that keeps me hooked with this group. Though lately Hikaru is starting to standout as my favorite. I first took a liking to Inoo-chan after watching him on Peach Girl, but that seemed like a passing fancy. He's my number 2 though amongst HSJ though. As for Hikaru, I first saw him when I watched Orthos No Inu, starring my number one Hideaki Takizawa and Ryo Nishikido, another one of my favorites. Not sure if it was a transference of my girl crush for Tackey and Ryo-chan that got me to appreciate Hikaru... or if it was because he was just such a bad ass here and I have a thing for bad boys hahahaha. It's funny how his character in Ikemen Desu Ne is the total opposite of the spoiled brat he portrayed in Orthos No Inu. He also kinda looks like my ex, so perhaps his physical features is really my type. My heart melts whenever I see him wink on screen LOL.