Much Love for 八乙女光

[meguren0216]

I am more of a lurker in SNS and communities like Livejournal. I think that's just my nature or maybe I am too distracted to focus on posting things? I actually had a number of entries I wanted to write about since January 2021 but I never got those done because my brain is a mess. A mess in such a way that I really can't focus. Anyway I just really need to get this off my chest as this has been bothering me since it was announced. 

*bonus Hikaru JCD Uchiwa offshot photo under cut

I've been fangirling on and off for over 10 years. Initially starting off with Arashi, as most PH fans did. i was saddened when they announced their hiatus during my birthday but they have provided us with much merriment and content that it doesn't really bother me as much. I miss Arashi, but I think they have been idols long enough and if they want to venture into something else in their later years, then as a fan I would very much support them. Going back, so 2020, I went back to fangirling. What lured me in was actually Johnny's countdown. It was so fun watching the previous countdown shows, seeing all my fave Johnny's boys from different groups come together and perform. Most of the Johnny's talents that I have grown up with are no longer with the agency so rewatching old JCDs are gold for me. It was during this time that I got hooked with Hey! Say! JUMP and have been an avid fan come August 2020. Their songs may it be the older ones or newer ones really appealed to me in such a way that it was the palette cleanser that I needed to deal with my sucky life in general. Fast forward to January 29 2022. That evening, I received a notification from my いつでも JUMP app. Normally, I don't read it right away, but when I saw Hikaru's name, I just had to read it. And there it was. What most fans dread the most was written there. Hikaru had to go on hiatus because of his medical condition. He is my ichi and it came as a shock to me. I was so sad and started to feel emotions I didn't feel before. So this is what it means to be a fan huh? Well, I am glad that he is taking time off to recover, but there are a million questions going through my unfocused mind. Like - how is he doing? What is the prognosis? How long will he be out? How is he feeling? Is he scared? Is he sad? Why him??? and a lot of other questions. I kinda likened it to an athlete who had to rest first because of an injury. I'm sure that analogy is pretty much close because its both about forgoing one's passion for a time. Anyway, I do hope Hikaru recovers and he has the support system that he needs in this bleak time. 

To be honest, a couple of weeks prior to this announcement, I've been starting to like Snow Man. Ren Meguro to be exact after I watched him in Kieta Hatsukoi. But after the announcement, I kinda  lost the energy to fangirl. Of course I still follow my fave groups, Arashi, HSJ, SixTONES and my newly admired group, but the burning passion is not the same. I really miss Hika and HSJ and I don't know why I'm so sad. So this must be how Keito fans felt when he had to go on hiatus because of school. But still... the future is so unknown. Again, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I will continue to support Hey! Say! JUMP and I will always wait for Hikaru to return.